HTML
So I said, "Christopher, can I have a blog?" and instead of being condescending and pointing out the zillions of websites I could go to and set up my own blog in a very independent way, he helped me. And when I started whining about making it look pretty, he slid in this photo I love by my friend Kat Powers, of stars in the lake in the early morning (she shot it off a pier in Roger's Park). It wasn't until I tried my (critically acclaimed) Oh My Officer, Was I Speeding? routine, complete with batting eyelashes and demure smile and syrup-sweet voice asking, "Will you help me include pictures?" that he cracked and told me this weekend we'd begin my HTML training. HTML. A daunting task, but then I think of those talking Barbies that came out a few years back that created all the controversy 'cause when you pulled their strings they said, "Math is hard!" and how much that whole thing pissed me off (this is where my friend Dia will read this blog and she and I will go to town about whether or not I am a feminist, and what does that even mean, and I'm conflicted 'cause of the (airquote) "feminist" who told me my freshman year in college--this was in the early Ninties, when political-correctness was on its rise--that I shouldn't be wearing the (fairly conservative) skirt (knee-length, thrift store wool) I had on because showing my legs distracted people from my intelligence and I thought A. but I LIKE skirts and B. I'm sick of all these things that LIMIT me and C. I don't WANT to be a feminist, no, I don't want to be a feminist like SHE'S a feminist, but, wait, what differentiates us, which is the same way I feel about being an American after living outside the country during the election which is another blog entry altogether) and I'll just learn the damn HTML so when someone pulls my string they don't end up questioning my independence.
Comments
I am sure I am a feminist but I've never cared for that word either. Whatever. Skirts rule, and so does lip gloss and (gasp!) I even like it when men hold open doors AND I took my husband's name - say it isn't so! (ok, only in my private life, not professionally) because I love him and because hyphenation is a drag. Sometimes I write Mrs. Brandt over and over in my diary just to see how it looks... and I'm already married to him!
Posted by: Betsy | March 18, 2005 12:35 PM
Femenist is a loaded word and slightly "antiquated" and frequently associated (by me) with being sexist towards men and other women. It irritates my brother Michael that I refuse to call myself a femenist even though I am a woman and far from a granola mom - or a soccer mom (and don't these things have spell check - see html and the reasons I married a perfectly excellent ubernerd in a later posting to be made another day). and the only thing I cook really is stew - and have made a pretty mean venison stew....
and simply because your a woman doesn't mean you can't wear skirts - it's all in the tough as nails personality.
And you can learn html - I prefer not to.... I also prefer not to learn flash.
I believe that part of independence is understanding when it is ok to rely on other peoples strengths (i.e. I handle the construction issues in our family and Scott handles the computer issues - the kids themselves are learning their own skills to add to the pot - I can't do everything, neither can Scott.) I used to try and do everything and then I realized that it was taking away from the things that I really wanted to do - now I am trying to decide what I really want to do (and my list is about as long as your Dad's) but I have to stay in Chicago for at least 7 more years.
There's a whole story that goes with the punchline, but the biggest reason I cannot call myself a feminist and WON'T is, I once knew a woman who wanted to be called a manwoman instead of a woman because she was "JUST as strong as any man!" and I just didn't understand why she then had to be just like a man - why she couldn't simply be a strong woman and another time my husband went to go and check our laundry while one of my past roommates (a raging Ann Arbor Feminist X 10 and an excellent tatoo artist) said, "He probably won't check the middle (of the dryer laundry) to see if it's dry. Just like a man." Now whose sexist and my same husband took a Woman's studies class at U of M, was the only man in the class and spent the entire semester, quater, trimester, whatever, being abused by the teacher who didn't want him in the class because he was a man and what did he think he was doing there anyway (he was there because he had me for a girlfriend at the time and I suggested it, and because he had any number of other friends who were women and and and - it still irritates me. I offered to go in and sit in on the class to protect him - but he toughed it out and got a rediculous grade as a result) I believe that Feminism was an important movement, and it was a necessary movement - that it's time to move beyond. But this is a very complicated topic. As for independence and HTML - go for it if you can stand it - I hate math - It was an will always be my worst subject. It is and I suspect will continue to be Haley my daughters best subject and favorite subject. I hate math and love mathmaticians and scientists - just don't make me take the classes and learn the subject. Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. I think the hardest thing to do in life is to determine what your strengths and weaknesses are - and to decide if it is worth it to dedicate the time to overcome a weakness or to give that time to reinforcing a strenth you may or may not feel passionate about (but that somebody else does) - the president of Harvard makes me madder at the momement than my inability to do math. He's NOT allowed to undermine my daughter - no Harvard for my children while that guys there - but that's not because he's a man - that's because he's an idiot and having learned from my past - that statement was nothing more that opinion.
Posted by: Amy Perry | March 18, 2005 12:38 PM