this post is not intended for the original comic, video game or TV characters, all of whom I have a great deal of respect for especially Julie Newmar, Meow
Dear UltraViolet, Aeon Flux, Catwoman, Elektra, Lara Croft et all:
We come for the hot outfits and the ass-kicking. Please stop ruining our experience with stuff like storylines, especially those that involve plagues, latent maternal instincts, or Genius side-kicks who live in hidden trailers or secret labratories.
Also, you can eliminate the dialogue all together. However much you try, none of you can be Trinity, and your weak attempts to rip off her Oh-so deadpan "Dodge this" are making me want to puke.
Comments
an addendum if I may:
Dear Milla Jovavich:
In all of your lovely action movies you are the hottest thing on two legs; honestly, I have spent many a lonely afternoons pining away at your beauty. However, I have taken time away from my serious pining to pass on this public service announcement to inform you to stop doing interviews, becuase the real life you is not nearly as cool as the characters that you play. Plus, girl you just plain dumb! So remember this the next time Jay Leno, David Letterman or Carson Daily invites you on thier show, please stop and think to yourself hmmmm my fans will definetly like me more if I keep my beautiful mouth shut.
Much thnaks
P.S.: Also, please stop trying to use the word "Ill" as an adjective. Much obliged.
Posted by: Melissa | March 4, 2006 2:23 PM
take melissa's letter and send it to jennifer garner also. so not brainy in interviews.
V for Vendetta march 17th - can't wait.
Posted by: carolyn | March 9, 2006 8:45 AM
Heh. After Mike and I finished watching Ultraviolet last Friday, we talked about it on our podcast. And I think my exact words were something like, "I liked Milla Jovavich much better in that when she didn't talk." And I didn't buy her for one second as someone with maternal instincts. Nope. She's still the foreign exchange student on Married With Children to me.
Posted by: Jenny | March 9, 2006 1:54 PM