Megan Stielstra's Blog

You see the tall, super-cute guy kissing me in that picture? He's my husband. We got married over the weekend, which makes me officially a wife. A Mrs. I'm Mrs. Him. Mrs. Super-cute Guy. Mr. and Mrs. Super-cute Guy ran away for a week to a lovely house on the beach with ten of their closest friends, and they got married. And drank champagne and skinny-dipped (often simultaneously). And grilled things purchased from a nearby farmer's market, laid in the sand, laid around the house, swam in the lake, watched movies, laughed a lot, told loads of stories, danced, ran after doggies, threw frisbees, flew the new stunt kite (Christopher), got the pedicures (Megan), and had an altogether magical, perfect, joyful escape with each other and other people they love.

We've now been back five days and what's interesting is, the rest of the world is continuing as though nothing happened. There is still work, and traffic, and dirty dishes, and palm pilots filled with obligations, and rent, and news updated online every twenty-four minutes and emails to answer. I remember having this same feeling when we returned to Chicago after living in Prague, but then I'd been gone for a year and now I've only been gone a week. It's not that I feel different--I just had a really magical time and I want everyone to feel this relaxed and happy, which means there should be National Holidays instead of having to go to work, and walks in the park--or maybe bikes! Or levitating skateboards like in BAck to the Future!--instead of gridlock, and why don't we all just eat fruit and sushi with our fingers instead of dishes! And can the schedule be filled with things that say, "Skip down street with new husband, 2:15" instead of "Meeting with financial advisor, 3:00." And rent--fuck rent! Free housing for ALL! And can the headlines read something good for just twenty-four minutes and then be updated back to the horrible, mind-numbing insanity happening everywhere (an entry for another day ['cause y'all know I'm on a roll with this happy stuff] is that we're doing this Plan of Healthy Living thingie which applies blah blah to the mind as well as the body and involves, along with broccoli and Vitamin C, buying fresh flowers and News Fasts. News Fasts! Which is an idea that I'm really on the fence about because I like being well-informed as to what's going on in the world, it feeds my self-perception as an educated, activist individual etc. etc. but DAMN, sometimes I just want to turn the shit off and run in fields with puppies and little children and new husbands and remember all the hope and beauty and greatness in this world!) and maybe, instead of all the emails I get about business, everyone should just grab a digital camera and photograph themselves smiling really big! Like this:

And then--THEN!--send those photos to me and everyone in your inbox, so our inboxes are flooded with really happy things instead of the ho-hum blah blah stuff that sucks hours out of our day! Hey!

(I wager there's some readers--of the three of you who still check this since I haven't posted in so long that everyone has given up on me, but, seriously, people! Sometimes you've got to unplug and live a little!--who are thinking, "Oooh, gross, she went and got all lovey-dovey, all bluebirds on her shoulder, puke puke!" Back in the day, I lived with this guy, Pete, who's an amazing artist and he had a studio in the back of our apartment where he painted all these really dark, scary intense things. And then he met his future wife, Carol-Anne, and he sat in the middle of that studio looking at blank canvases and said, "I'm so HAPPY! What am I going to PAINT!?" which lasted all of two days before he came up with all this new wonderful material and had to move to LA 'cause he got a dealer blah blah success [sidebar: a few months into our relationship, Christopher said, "What are you going to write about now that you're in a stable, healthy relationship with serious long-term possibilities?" and I had this weird moment of panic. What WOULD I write about if not the self-depracating, cynical adventures with (the wrong kind of) love? Answer: the five billion other subjects that I see/experience/imagine every day] the moral of which is, love is great! Put down the Camus and turn off The Smiths and go fall in love!)

So. Blah blah we're happy. But people--we were happy before we got married. This happiness is not breaking news. "Do you feel DIFFERENT?" I've been asked since we returned, and, seriously, I don't. My wedding was wonderful, but it was ONE DAY (Okay, five, technically, but you get my point). This giddiness here isn't about a DAY, it's about me and Mr. Super-cute up there. We have all these plans, stuff to do this weekend and stuff to do five years from now, and I am SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR ALL OF IT!

I was reading Newsweek this morning, and there's an article about--get this--post-wedding depression. Because, apparently, these brides spend years planning their wedding, but they didn't plan for the day AFTER. And the day after that and the day after that, and need SUPPORT GROUPS to get them through the difficult times of what to do AFTER the wedding. Be careful, all you wedding planners out there--you know who you are. You've got a binder somewhere filled with articles ripped out of magazines. You've been imagining your wedding your whole life. For example:

Two weeks before the wedding, Megan and Christopher sat down with a kick-ass pastry chef.

KICK-ASS PASTRY CHEF: (to Megan) So. Have you been dreaming about your wedding cake since you were a little girl?
ME: You can put it in a bucket so long as it tastes good.
KAPC: You and I will get along just fine.
CHRISTOPHER: I would rather it not be served in a bucket.

I'd like to point out a few facts from this little scenario:

1. All the wedding books/mags/planners will tell you to get your cake SIX MONTHS IN ADVANCE. This is bunk. Kick-ass cake can be purchased at any time for any occasion. And that pretty frosting that looks like flowers? It tastes like playdough. I know because our KAPC let us taste the pretty cakes, and then the good cakes, and we got a cake which was good AND pretty. And had frosting made of WHIPPED CREAM (with a bourbon chaser).

2. It is assumed by anyone in the wedding industry that the bride has been dreaming about her wedding forever. Sometimes you must set them straight. You must say, "Dude, I'm not all jazzed with the vision of my wedding. I am jazzed by the future with my husband."

3. If your husband is a designer, especially a very good designer (such as mine), he WILL care about such things as what the cake looks like. So ask him. Mostly, though, he will care that A. you are happy B. the whole experience is fun/relaxed/stress-free C. there are good friends and D. his new stunt kite does not get stuck in a tree.

So, in conclusion, my wedding was a really great party to celebrate something amazing, something which is, to me, truly awe-inspiring: two people who are all wild about each other making a commitment to take on this crazy world together as a team.

Do I feel different? No--because I've felt this for Christopher since we started. Look:

In Italy, after three months.

Alaska, eight months.

Chicago, year and a half.

Michigan, after nearly two and a half years. August 4th. Our wedding.

I'm very, very excited for all the future moments, when I can look back at a photo, or my journal, or the pictures painted in my mind's eye, and see all crystal-clear how much I love this guy.

This is our beach.

The best man reading from Makondo, by Anthony Doerr.

The Man of Honor making me cry with his toast.

Mrs. Jobson drinking wine and putting the veil on the dog.

The Mr. and Mrs.