Megan Stielstra's Blog

Thanks so much to all of you who came out to Martyr's last night for 2nd Story at Story Week! We had an absolute blast, you guys were like the dream audience (by which I mean big, fun and tipsy!) and I drank a whole GLASS AND A HALF of wine! And wore HIGH HEELS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN MONTHS! And MASCARA. Caleb didn't even RECOGNIZE me, he was all, who's THIS lady dressed all fancy? MY mom wears pajamas all day!

Someday, he'll learn that I'm sort of cool, right? Although, by then, all my cool stuff won't be cool because I'm his mom and moms inherently aren't cool. I'm thinking of this one time last summer: I was out walking Mojo and I passed this woman and her daughter. They looked out-of-place, like tourists: Mom in her late forties in head-to-toe GAP, her hair shellacked into place, obligatory fanny pack; the daughter maybe twelve in those Ambercrombie tight shirts and too-long cargo pants. She was NOT happy, the daughter. She did NOT want to be hanging out with her mom, that was for sure. She was waaaay too cool. Anyhow, they were standing in front of the Aragon, this rock music club across the street from my house, and the mom said, "Daddy and I saw the Violent Femmes play here one time!" and I'm like, No SHIT, you saw the Violent Femmes LIVE? but the daughter just rolled her eyes, like, Who CARES about the Violent Femmes! The Violent Femmes are so totally NOT Miley Cyrus or whomever the kids are listening to these days.

I learned two things from this incident:

1. Christopher and I can't be the one to tell Caleb about the cool things we've done. We're his parents, ergo we are dorks (or whatever the word will be when he's twelve. Back in my day it was DORK [which is a really weird word if you think about it. Say it five times fast: dork dork dork dork dork], but it's probably changed now. Anyone? What's the new word for DORK? Why don't I KNOW this, God, I'm ALREADY not cool and Caleb's only six weeks old!), THEREFORE, our friends who are cool will have to tell him we're cool, and maybe if they say so then it will be true. Jeff? Amanda? Michael? Dia? Make sure to tell Caleb how cool I am, 'kay? How I did this kickass show at Martyr's and felt like a total rock star 'cause I got to sound check and shit?(except don't say, "and shit," 'cause I don't want his kindergarten teacher to call me all miffed that my sweet little boy sounds like a late-night comedian).

2. He needs to learn, as soon as possible, how great the Violent Femmes are. That little girl who rolled her eyes? She should be FLOGGED.